What About Discord?

Information

TitleWhat About Discord?
Season5
Number22
Overall Number113
Wiki PageWhat About Discord?
Main Character
  • Twilight Sparkle
PreviousScare Master
NextThe Hooffields and McColts

In this episode 10 characters spoke a total of 217 lines. The most talkative character was Twilight Sparkle, who spoke 67 lines.

Characters

Most Talkative Characters
image/svg+xml https://www.gnu.org/licenses/agpl-3.0.en.html https://mlp.mattbas.org/transcripts/episodes/05/22/ https://mlp.mattbas.org/transcripts/episodes/05/22/ Twilight Sparkle (67, 31%) Discord (47, 21%) Spike (23, 11%) Pinkie Pie (19, 9%) Rainbow Dash (19, 9%) Applejack (13, 6%) Fluttershy (13, 6%) Rarity (13, 6%) Zecora (4, 2%) Main cast sans Twilight Sparkle (1, 0%)

Transcript

  • Spike
Didn't we just shelve all the books in the library a few months ago?
  • Twilight Sparkle
Yes, but that was because we needed to! This is just because I want to! I call it my "book-sort-cation"! Three uninterrupted days of reorganizing books. Can you think of anything more relaxing?
  • Spike
Well, claw massages, back rubs, bubble baths... You weren't really looking for an answer, were you?
  • Twilight Sparkle
I've even devised a better system for organizing them. It decreases the amount of time it takes to find a book you're looking for by nearly three quarters of a second!
  • Spike
Whoa. That much?
  • Twilight Sparkle
Look at them all. Why, there must be at least twenty thousand books to organize!
  • Twilight Sparkle
Best long weekend ever! I'm sure we can make some time for a claw massage and a back rub too.
  • Spike
Yes! Best long weekend ever!
  • Spike
Whoa! That strange yellow orb in the sky! What is that?
  • Twilight Sparkle
Alright, alright, so it's been a little while since we've seen the sun.
  • Spike
A little while? We've been in that library for three straight days!
  • Twilight Sparkle
Yes, but they were three very productive days! Even if you did take that two-hour claw massage break.
  • Spike
Hey, you promise a claw massage, I'm getting a claw massage.
  • Twilight Sparkle
It's not like we missed anything.
  • Rainbow Dash
  • Discord
Hello, Twilight! Hi, Spike!
  • Twilight Sparkle
Hi, Rainbow Dash. Good to see you, Discord.
  • Spike
Did you rehearse before you found us?
  • Rainbow Dash
  • Discord
What makes you think we practiced?
  • Twilight Sparkle
Come on, Rainbow Dash. What's going on here?
  • Rainbow Dash
Sorry. Me and Discord are just messin' around. Like we do.
  • Twilight Sparkle
Since when?
  • Discord
Oh, Twilight. We simply had a momentous time together these past three days. You could say it was... "hiss-terical"!
  • Rainbow Dash
Sneaky snake!
  • Discord
Just snaking around!
  • Rainbow Dash
Good one, Discord!
  • Twilight Sparkle
It is?
  • Rainbow Dash
Kind of an inside joke from this weekend. You wouldn't really get it unless you were there.
  • Twilight Sparkle
Oh. Okay.
  • Rainbow Dash
Cool. Well, uh, catch you later, Twilight!
  • Discord
Catch you later, Twilight.
  • Twilight Sparkle
That was strange, right? Since when have Rainbow Dash and Discord had inside jokes?
  • Spike
Since sometime in the last three days, I guess.
  • Twilight Sparkle
Hey! Nopony made you join me on my book-sort-cation.
  • Spike
I'm jokin', I'm jokin'!
  • Twilight Sparkle
Rarity?
  • Rarity
Twilight! You've returned from your book sorting sabbatical! All that organizing has done wonders for your complexion!
  • Twilight Sparkle
Thanks! It was very relaxing. And we were able to clear a shelf for those old-fashioned books you wanted to donate.
  • Rarity
Oh, pfft, they're not old, darling. They're vintage, and they're over there! I've even included my favorites by former Canterlot designer to the stars Rococo Froufrou!
  • Spike
Oh, I love her!
  • Rarity
Him.
  • Spike
Both.
  • Discord
Twilight! This makes twice I'm seeing you in one day! Aren't I lucky?
  • Twilight Sparkle
Weren't you just with—
  • Fluttershy
Hi, Twilight! Hi, Spike! How was your book-sort-cation?
  • Twilight Sparkle
It was good!
  • Fluttershy
Orange you glad you did it?
  • Rarity
"Orange you glad"! Oh, Fluttershy, you're a card!
  • Fluttershy
Oh, please. You'll make me blush.
  • Discord
You do seem to be turning a shade of... orange!
  • Rarity
Oh, sorry, darling. You see, we were at Sweet Apple Acres and, uh, ooh, how to explain...
  • Discord
Well, let me try and paint her a picture, dearest.
  • Spike
"Dearest"?
  • Discord
You see, we were all at Sweet Apple Acres, and I ended up turning the trees into the most— Oh, who am I kidding? I simply can't do it justice. You really had to be there.
  • Fluttershy
We would've invited you to come along too, but we didn't want to interrupt your organizing. We know how important it is to you.
  • Discord
And I'm sure it was much more important than the fun that we had.
  • Twilight Sparkle
I appreciate that... Speaking of books, I should get these on the shelves.
  • Twilight Sparkle
Hmm. Rainbow Dash bonding with Discord, Rarity finding something he did genuinely funny... Must've been some weekend.
  • Spike
Somepony sorry she missed it?
  • Twilight Sparkle
Of course not.
  • Twilight Sparkle
What's got you two in hysterics?
  • Discord
Oh, we were just reminiscing about the best weekend ever!
  • Twilight Sparkle
He's everywhere today, isn't he?
  • Discord
Oh, now where was I? Ah, yes, we had just finished our soup, and then Applejack said, "Peanut butter hoof? Yuck, not even with jelly!"
  • Twilight Sparkle
Eh, I don't get it.
  • Pinkie Pie
It was hilarious! I wish we'd taken a picture for you!
  • Discord
Oh, well, this should do!
  • Twilight Sparkle
I guess that's funny?
  • Discord
Well, seems this has become quite the... sticky situation!
  • Pinkie Pie
Sticky situation!
  • Applejack
Aw, shucks, Twilight. We haven't even asked how your weekend went.
  • Twilight Sparkle
It was fine!
  • Discord
And yet you look so glum. Does somepony need a huggy-wuggy?
  • Twilight Sparkle
I am not glum. I'm glad! I'm glad you all had such a good time together. Having inside jokes can really create a lasting bond between friends.
  • Discord
I'm just sorry that all this bonding happened while you were holed up in your castle.
  • Applejack
Heh. Oh, don't you worry about Twilight. Bet you were in hog heaven organizin' all them books. Again.
  • Twilight Sparkle
I'm sure I had just as much fun as the rest of you.
  • Twilight Sparkle
I can't believe I missed out on all that bonding!
  • Spike
I knew it! You are jealous!
  • Twilight Sparkle
Spike, I'm the Princess of Friendship. I don't get jealous. I'm sorry I missed out because sharing that experience would've helped me with my Princess of Friendship duties!
  • Spike
Come again?
  • Twilight Sparkle
If our friends could enjoy three full days with Discord that much, it must have something to do with the specific things they did together! If we could find out what those things were, it could be a real breakthrough in the science of friendship!
  • Spike
Hm. I guess so.
  • Twilight Sparkle
I know so! You thought our book-sort-cation was fun? This is gonna be even better!
  • Twilight Sparkle
Thank you for coming. I wouldn't have asked you here if it wasn't important.
  • Pinkie Pie
I love important!
  • Twilight Sparkle
I want to know how these funny moments you shared came to pass. I can use this data to help advance friendships all over Equestria.
  • Applejack
Well, I like the sound of that!
  • Twilight Sparkle
Perfect. Let's start with the snake.
  • Rainbow Dash
I don't know if I can get it out! It's too funny!
  • Discord
Oh, but we must! It's for the greater good! It started when we were helping Granny Smith with her garden...
  • Applejack
Uh, I reckon you mean my sister Apple Bloom.
  • Discord
Eh... All you Apples look the same. And then Rainbow Dash saw a snake!
  • Fluttershy
I think it was a garden hose.
  • Rainbow Dash
It was a hose snake. Super deadly.
  • Applejack
I recall it bein' a large stick that looked like a hose that, in turn, did in fact resemble a snake.
  • Pinkie Pie
Point is, we galloped away.
  • Rainbow Dash
And it chased after us!
  • Twilight Sparkle
The hose? A snake? A stick?
  • Rainbow Dash
A snake!
  • Fluttershy
A hose!
  • Applejack
A stick!
  • Discord
We literally trotted for our lives. Isn't that hilarious?
  • Fluttershy
I guess you had to be there.
  • Twilight Sparkle
I do need to be there.
  • Rarity
But you weren't! And it's already happened! Ooh, are you suggesting...
  • Pinkie Pie
Time travel?!
  • Twilight Sparkle
Absolutely not! Time travel is not something to be messed with. We simply need to recreate everything that led to these jokes.
  • Discord
Oh, what a brilliant idea! Shall we begin with the lunch date that kicked off the glorious weekend you missed out on?
  • Twilight Sparkle
Are you sure it was this table?
  • Rainbow Dash
Uh, does it really matter?
  • Twilight Sparkle
When it comes to science, everything matters. One change to the equation could ruin the experiment.
  • Discord
Ohhhhhh... it was this table here.
  • Twilight Sparkle
Alright, so you sat down at the table, and then what happened?
  • Rarity
Oh, well, first I expressed my displeasure with the design of the menu. It—
  • Discord
I'm sorry to interrupt, but I just noticed something.
  • Twilight Sparkle
Yes?
  • Discord
The tablecloth. It isn't the same color as the one the restaurant used on the day in question.
  • Twilight Sparkle
...Really?
  • Rarity
He's right! The tablecloth was red! I remember because it clashed with the font on the menus.
  • Applejack
I don't suppose that means we're gonna need to get a new tablecloth, does it?
  • Discord
Oh, most definitely.
  • Fluttershy
Ooh.
  • Pinkie Pie
Wowee!
  • Discord
One change to the equation could ruin the experiment. Twilight said so herself. Anything stand out as being different? Anything at all?
  • Fluttershy
Um, I've noticed a couple of things.
  • Pinkie Pie
Me too!
  • Discord
Excellent!
  • Discord
A little to the left! No, my left! A little bit more... Oh, no, no, no, no, no, a little more right!
  • Pinkie Pie
The cloud over our table looked like an ice cream sundae!
  • Pinkie Pie
Perfect!
  • Discord
No-no-no-no-no, this is barely room temperature! Garçon! Garçon, over here!
  • Discord
No? Nothing?
  • Twilight Sparkle
Are you sure there's not something you've missed? Some other detail about your lunch together that you're forgetting?
  • Discord
Well, I don't know about the rest of you, but I feel we've been pretty exhaustive in our attempts to recreate every single detail of our previous encounter.
  • Rainbow Dash
Yeah, Twilight. If you don't get it by now, I don't think you're ever gonna get it.
  • Twilight Sparkle
But it is really important that I figure this out. It's for the good of all Equestria!
  • Discord
Well, perhaps we should have another look at the data we've collected. Of course! There is one last variable that we haven't accounted for.
  • Twilight Sparkle
What?
  • Discord
You!
  • Twilight Sparkle
Me?
  • Discord
You weren't there observing us. No matter how hard we try, we can't possibly recreate our weekend of fun exactly as it happened because you'll always be watching, and you weren't there.
  • Main cast sans Twilight Sparkle
Hmmm.
  • Pinkie Pie
He makes a good point.
  • Discord
It has only served to prove that moments of levity and bonding between friends simply cannot be recreated so that others might share in the experience.
  • Pinkie Pie
He makes another good point!
  • Rarity
Oh, don't worry, darling. I'm sure there'll be plenty of other chances for you to share in the kind of frivolity we had with Discord while you were away.
  • Rainbow Dash
Yeah, and I'll bet they'll be just as hissssss-terical!
  • Fluttershy
Absolutely.
  • Twilight Sparkle
I'm not buying it. Not for a second. There is definitely something else going on here, Spike!
  • Spike
Or maybe there isn't, and you should just drop this whole thing and admit that you're a little jealous!
  • Twilight Sparkle
Even if I'm not able to laugh at what happened, I should be able to figure out why they find it funny. Why they think they had this amazing and hilarious time together. But I can't figure it out! It doesn't make sense!
  • Spike
Some things just can't be explained.
  • Twilight Sparkle
Our friends think something great happened to them while I was away, but no. It was something awful! If we don't break the spell they're under, who knows what terrible things could happen?!
  • Spike
Spell?
  • Twilight Sparkle
Come on, Spike! There's no time to lose!
  • Twilight Sparkle
Zecora, what do you think? Can you undo Discord's magic?
  • Zecora
In what way can you tell that they are indeed under a spell?
  • Twilight Sparkle
They're having fun with Discord, that's why!
  • Zecora
Ah. A friendship with Discord is truly a shock. But who says it is something that we must block?
  • Twilight Sparkle
Trust me, they would never laugh like that unless something magical was involved. It's not that funny. I know funny.
  • Zecora
Alright. This potion will break the spell, then you will be able to tell.
  • Spike
Wait. If that's the potion, then what's brewing in your cauldron?
  • Zecora
It ties the room together and emits a warm glow. But if I am to be honest, it's just for show.
  • Applejack
I wonder why she asked us here so bright and early.
  • Rarity
Another map adventure, perhaps?
  • Pinkie Pie
Nope, no glowing tushies here!
  • Fluttershy
Or maybe it's more of a non-adventure. Maybe she just wants to tell us how last night's slumber went?
  • Twilight Sparkle
Hey, gang!
  • Pinkie Pie
Ooh, you look excited!
  • Twilight Sparkle
I am excited! We're gonna have fun today!
  • Pinkie Pie
Yes!
  • Twilight Sparkle
Just one tiny, minuscule, microscopic thing before fun times. I need everypony to sip this potion to break Discord's spell on you!
  • Applejack
A what now?
  • Twilight Sparkle
Don't be embarrassed. So what if Discord cast a spell on you so you thought you had a great time, and now you have all these inside jokes that you seem to be constantly laughing at? Don't worry! You didn't have your defenses up. I get it.
  • Rainbow Dash
You're kidding.
  • Rarity
Twilight, darling, we simply had a nice time with Discord. As I recall, we spent much of yesterday afternoon reenacting it for you.
  • Twilight Sparkle
Uh-huh. Or you reenacted what you thought was fun but really wasn't because you were under a spell that made you think what happened was fun!
  • Applejack
What kind of fertilizer have you had your nose in, Twilight?
  • Twilight Sparkle
Be honest. The only reason you won't drink the potion is because, deep down in your hearts, you know there's a chance that Discord has you under his power!
  • Fluttershy
Twilight, how could you say such a thing?! I know Discord still makes mistakes sometimes, but you're accusing him of being downright evil!
  • Rainbow Dash
Yeah! And to top it off, you're accusing us of not being able to tell he was up to something! What do you take us for?
  • Pinkie Pie
Yeah! What do you take us for?!
  • Pinkie Pie
Dee-licious! Got any more, Twilight?
  • Discord
Hi, Twilight! The gang mentioned we'd all be hanging out together today!
  • Twilight Sparkle
"The gang"?
  • Discord
Yeah! The peanut-butter-hoof gang!
  • Pinkie Pie
It's still funny!
  • Applejack
So much for that whole "spell" theory.
  • Twilight Sparkle
Ugh. But it's still not funny!
  • Rainbow Dash
It's funny if you were there.
  • Twilight Sparkle
But I wasn't there! I wasn't included! Maybe it's my own fault for staying in and having a book-sort-cation when I could have been making jokes and memories and having a great time with my friends! But I didn't do that, did I?! You all did! You were all there, but—! I wasn't there. I missed out. And seeing you having all these jokes I wasn't a part of and couldn't understand made me...
  • Spike
Jealous?
  • Twilight Sparkle
No. The Princess of Friendship can't get jealous.
  • Applejack
Sure you can, Twilight, and none of us begrudge you for it.
  • Fluttershy
We're sorry if we made you feel left out.
  • Twilight Sparkle
You didn't do anything wrong. You're allowed to share things that don't include me.
  • Rarity
And you're allowed to feel a little jealous about it. You just have to be able to admit that that's what you're feeling so you can let it go.
  • Rainbow Dash
And, you know, not try to make us recreate everything that happened when you weren't around.
  • Discord
Of course none of this would've happened if I hadn't encouraged everypony not to invite you this weekend.
  • Twilight Sparkle
They wanted me to be there? And you convinced them to not invite me?
  • Discord
Well, I didn't think that they should interrupt you. But now I see that we should have. Oh, I feel just terrible.
  • Pinkie Pie
You don't look like you feel terrible.
  • Discord
Better?
  • Applejack
Wait a minute. You didn't suggest not inviting Twilight because you wanted to make her feel left out, did you?
  • Discord
Of course not. That whole jealousy thing was just a happy accident.
  • Discord
Certainly we can all agree that Princess Twilight learned a valuable lesson here – that even she can have feelings of jealousy, that she should recognize said feelings rather than trying to pretend that she doesn't have them. Mm-hmm. Did I get the tiniest bit of glee out of watching her try to recreate our weekend of fun in the name of science? Oh, most definitely! But what's important here is that it was never my intent to make Twilight feel jealous. That's something that the old me would have tried to do. Orange you glad I've changed?
  • Discord
I said, Orange you glad I've changed?
  • Discord
Orange! Like the ones at the Applejack farm! I-I mean, from this weekend!
  • Discord
No? Nothing? Really? I thought you'd find this hisss-terical!
  • Rarity
...Yes, no. Discord, I think these jokes have run their course.
  • Pinkie Pie
Only way we'd find them funny now is if you put us all under some kind of spell!
  • Twilight Sparkle
Come on, you'd have to be a complete crazy pony to think he'd do something like that! What are you gonna say next, Pinkie? That we all have to drink some weird potion to break the spell?
  • Discord
W-W-What's so funny?
  • Rainbow Dash
Come on, Discord, do we really have to spell it out for you?
  • Discord
I-I-I don't get it. Somepony want to tell me what's so hilarious? Anypony? Hello?!
  • Discord
I'm talking to you! You! And-and you and you! W-W-What's funny about spells? I mean, really, I don't get it, I feel left out and I feel really bad about that...
  • Spike
Sorry, buddy. Guess you had to be there.