The Saddle Row Review

Information

TitleThe Saddle Row Review
Season6
Number9
Overall Number126
Wiki PageThe Saddle Row Review
Main Character
  • Rarity
PreviousA Hearth's Warming Tail
NextApplejack's "Day" Off

In this episode 15 characters spoke a total of 161 lines. The most talkative character was Rarity, who spoke 53 lines.

Characters

Most Talkative Characters
image/svg+xml https://www.gnu.org/licenses/agpl-3.0.en.html https://mlp.mattbas.org/transcripts/episodes/06/09/ https://mlp.mattbas.org/transcripts/episodes/06/09/ Rarity (53, 32%) Rainbow Dash (22, 13%) Twilight Sparkle (21, 13%) Pinkie Pie (16, 10%) Applejack (15, 9%) Fluttershy (15, 9%) Plaid Stripes (7, 4%) Mr. Stripes (5, 3%) Blue Bobbin (3, 2%) Buried Lede (2, 1%) Other (7, 4%)

Transcript

  • Rainbow Dash
Come on! If we hurry, we can get there before the paper's even delivered to Rarity's house!
  • Pinkie Pie
Maybe she won't read the article.
  • Applejack
I'm pretty sure Rarity's gonna read a review of her new boutique in Manehattan.
  • Rainbow Dash
I still can't believe we all just blabbed everything that happened to that reporter!
  • Fluttershy
I just hope it doesn't end up being an article about how her friends almost ruined the opening.
  • Twilight Sparkle
I think you're all overreacting. Rarity's our friend. If anypony is gonna understand, it'll be her.
  • Rarity
I was wondering when all of you were going to show up.
  • Rarity
Now we can all read the review together!
  • Rainbow Dash
Um, I have an idea. How 'bout we don't read it?
  • Twilight Sparkle
What she means is, before you read it, we should probably tell you about—
  • Rarity
No, no, darling. Please, no spoilers.
  • Fluttershy
But—
  • Rarity
No spoilers!
  • Rarity
Now, is everypony ready to hear what I'm sure is a stellar review that describes in stunning detail exactly how each of you contributed to the successful opening of Rarity For You?
  • Rarity
"Many a pony has tried their hoof at joining the ranks of the elite fashion trendsetters currently ensconced in the boutiques of Manehattan's famed Saddle Row." "Some might say it's the ultimate achievement in Equestrian fashion, and never before has a reporter been granted such unfettered behind-the-scenes access until now!"
  • Fluttershy
I wish it had been more fettered.
  • Rarity
Oh, uh... Ah! "I sat down with..." "...Rarity and her friends after the opening to get the inside scoop, and what a scoop it was!"
  • Buried Lede
Okay, kid, ya successfully opened a shop in Manehattan and that's no mean feat! Most ponies might wonder what it feels like. Here's how it's gonna be: I'm gonna interview you and your friends so I can paint a picture of how it all came together. A word picture, mind you, not an actual picture. Any questions?
  • Rarity
Well, I was wondering—
  • Buried Lede
Let's get started! Ms. Rarity, you've got shops all over Equestria, but this was your first time trying to make it in the big city. What made ya think you could tackle it on your own?
  • Rarity
Well, I wouldn't say all over Equestria. I just have two other boutiques: one in my hometown of Ponyville, and one in Canterlot. Uh, still, when I decided to open this one, I was nothing but confident.
  • Twilight Sparkle
Let's just say that if I could choose, I probably wouldn't do it that way again. Heh.
  • Pinkie Pie
Well, it wasn't the funnest party ever...
  • Applejack
It was a plum-puckered, pig-pushin' disaster!
  • Rainbow Dash
After a lifetime of awesome, I think everypony's allowed to mess up every now and then, right?
  • Rainbow Dash
Wait, are you writing this down?
  • Fluttershy
Um, it didn't go exactly how I thought it would, but it, um, started out all right.
  • Rarity
Welcome to Saddle Row, an entire street lined with the most fashionable boutiques in all of Equestria!
  • Applejack
If it's supposed to be the most fashionable block of shops, where's Stinky Bottom's Discount Hat Emporium?
  • Rarity
I suppose it didn't make the cut. Here it is! Rarity For You!
  • Twilight Sparkle
Rarity, it's lovely. But are you sure you'll be ready to open tonight?
  • Rarity
No need to fret over a mere moderate amount of preparation. My clothes arrive soon, my sales associate after that, and with a little... dusting, we'll be ready for the grand opening tonight.
  • Mr. Stripes
Rarity! So good to see you! Your store, it's going to be a very good place, I think!
  • Rarity
Mr. Stripes owns the building. He's a very pleasant landlord. Although he can be pushy at times. Okay, all the time.
  • Mr. Stripes
You've met my daughter, the apple of my ear, the hay in my hoof? You will let her work with you.
  • Rarity
It's just, I'm dreadfully busy preparing for tonight's grand opening, as you can see.
  • Mr. Stripes
There are only two things I love more than being pushy. One is my daughter. The other is miniature doll furniture. And I would sell my entire mini-furniture collection to make my daughter happy. You understand?
  • Rarity
I'm sorry. I just don't think it's going to be possible.
  • Mr. Stripes
Let me say another way... Hire her or I raise rent until you no can afford!
  • Rarity
Oh, uh, welcome aboard.
  • Plaid Stripes
First idea! Instead of clothes, we sell glow-in-the-dark teeth! Like this. But they glow in the dark!
  • Rarity
Golly, what a splendid idea!
  • Rarity
Glow-in-the-dark teeth! What was she thinking?!
  • Rarity
Aah! Fluttershy, your assistance is required in the stock room, posthaste!
  • Fluttershy
Aw, hello.
  • Rarity
But what are they doing here?
  • Fluttershy
Smoky made too much noise eating garbage, so Softpad's mother made them move out of the trashcan.
  • Fluttershy
Then Smoky Jr. found a nice home in the crawl space behind the building. But Mr. Stripes demolished it, so they were temporarily camped out in the back until they found a new place to live.
  • Rarity
No, no, no! I can't have a family of rubbish-scented raccoons living in my boutique!
  • Rarity
Uh, did you hear that?
  • Rarity
Heh. Turns out there's a Club Pony Party Palace upstairs.
  • Pinkie Pie
Turns out there's a Club Pony Party Palace upstairs!
  • Rarity
I'm sorry. Could you please ask her to turn it down? Could you ask her to turn it down, please? Turn it down, please! Oh, please!
  • Rarity
Ugh! Foals today listen to their so-called "music" far too loud. I realize that makes me sound like an old mare. But this is business!
  • Rainbow Dash
I wish we were having as much fun as they are.
  • Twilight Sparkle
Well, sweeping can be fun, too. Sweep, sweep, sweep, sweep. Sweep, sweep, sweep, sweep, sweep...
  • Rainbow Dash
Only Twilight could make a dance remix about sweeping. I mean, how lame is that?
  • Applejack
Yeah. It wasn't even catchy.
  • Rainbow Dash
Nope.
  • Twilight Sparkle
Sweep, sweep, sweep, sweep...
  • Twilight Sparkle
  • Applejack
  • Rainbow Dash
Sweep, sweep, sweep, sweep, sweep, sweep, sweep, sweep, sweep, sweep, sweep...
  • Rarity
Apparently, DJ Pon-3 has a residency at the Party Palace upstairs, but security won't let me speak to her.
  • Rarity
Aah! What in the name of Celestia was that?!
  • Plaid Stripes
You know how most stores have a little jingle-bell when the door opens? Ahem. I thought we should have something with a little more pizzazz! So, I installed one of Daddy's antique horns.
  • Rarity
We'll have to do something about that, after I think of a way to quiet down that music. And after I finish designing the window display!
  • Rarity
Ahh! Wait, is this my merchandise shipment from Ponyville? It's completely disorganized! A—A—...
  • Rarity
Gesundheit! Oh, Miss Pommel! I'm so glad to see you! Now, as the sole sales associate at Rarity For You, I hate to add to your already overflowing plate of responsibilities, but it looks as though we have just a tad more to do before tonight than I thought.
  • Coco Pommel
Actually, I— I can't work tonight.
  • Rarity
Oh? Why not?
  • Rarity
Feel better, my sweet. We'll manage without you... somehow. And we'll manage glowing teeth and car horns and disorganized clothes and dance music! Am I forgetting anything?
  • Rarity
What am I going to do?!
  • Twilight Sparkle
Well, opening a store in Manehattan is a pretty big deal. It's natural that Rarity would be a little stressed about how it was going. Since it wasn't going well. Still, I think she handled it all right.
  • Rarity
My dream is doomed! Doomed, I tell you! Doomed!
  • Twilight Sparkle
I know things haven't gone perfectly so far, but we've done this kind of thing before. If we all work together—
  • Rarity
I appreciate the offer, but this is Manehattan. To make it in the fashion scene here, everything has to be perfect. The perfect location! The perfect clothes! The perfect opening!
  • Twilight Sparkle
Maybe we should just postpone.
  • Rarity
Postpone?! Darling, tonight is the last night of the fall season. If we don't open tonight, it won't be...
  • Twilight Sparkle
Perfect.
  • Rarity
Yes. I know what needs to be done. I just need more of me! Oh, how I wish I could make copies of myself!
  • Pinkie Pie
Yeah... Making copies of yourself always sounds like a great idea, but before you know it, you're locked in a room with fifty Pinkie Pies watching paint dry.
  • Twilight Sparkle
We can do this. And we can stay true to your vision.
  • Rarity
You'd do that? Fluttershy, you'll handle those... strong-smelling raccoons for me?
  • Fluttershy
Of course.
  • Applejack
Leave Plaid Stripes to me. I'll handle her and her, uh, "good ideas".
  • Pinkie Pie
Ooh, ooh, ooh! And I can go upstairs to that nonstop party and have tons of fun and eat some cake and set off party cannons and—
  • Pinkie Pie
And then make them be quiet.
  • Twilight Sparkle
I'm pretty sure I know somepony who wouldn't mind organizing this merchandise shipment for you. I'm talking about myself. Oh, please, let me organize it!
  • Rarity
This all sounds splendid, but I don't even have a single employee, and I'll need the best of the best.
  • Rainbow Dash
Leave the hiring to me.
  • Rarity
Oh! This is it, my dears. If you can handle these problems, I'll focus on the designs for the front window display. We'll show Manehattan what Rarity For You is all about! Oh, what would I do without you?
  • Rainbow Dash
What would she do without us? Huh. Lemme think. "Darlings, I'm absolutely doomed, doomed, doomed!" Heh, I sound just like her!
  • Rainbow Dash
Hey, you're not writing this down, are you?
  • Rarity
Now for the perfect window display. Hmm.
  • Pinkie Pie
Oh, I can't really stop a super fun party in the middle of mega-happy fun times, can I?! Oh, what would Rarity want?!
  • Rarity Devil
Keep that party going 'til the break of dawn!
  • Pinkie Pie
Really?
  • Rarity Angel
Indubitably! And as for the roof, get jiggy! Raise it, Pinkie! Raise it like you've never raised it before!
  • Pinkie Pie
Oh! If you say so!
  • Rarity Devil
Oh, please, Pinkie Pie. Never in a million years would I say such balderdash!
  • Pinkie Pie
Oh.
  • Pinkie Pie
Obviously, DJ Pon-3 only plays the sickest of beats. I just wouldn't want her to miss out on the coolest new music straight from the back-alley underground, zip-zap party scene! I'd play the whole thing if I were you, no matter what other ponies think.
  • Dancers
Awww.
  • Rainbow Dash
Rarity For You is only hiring the best of the best. And to me, that means the fastest. Now, uh, before we begin, uh... Am I doing this right? What would Rarity want? New plan!
  • Rainbow Dash
Who can be the first one to tell me what fabric this is?
  • Blue Bobbin
That's organza.
  • Rainbow Dash
Are you sure?
  • Blue Bobbin
It's a thin, plain weave. Sheer fabric traditionally made from silk, so... yeah.
  • Rainbow Dash
I don't know the first thing about clothes. Pretty much all I can do is look at something and tell you if it's clothes or not. This chair? Not clothes.
  • Plaid Stripes
See if you can keep up with me here. What are all clothes made of?
  • Applejack
Uh, fabric?
  • Plaid Stripes
Bingo! But not in this store. Uh-uh. Not anymore.
  • Applejack
Oh, no?
  • Plaid Stripes
Two words for you: "spoon clothes". All our clothes will be made of spoons!
  • Applejack
What would Rarity want? You know, I like you, Plaid Stripes. If it were up to me, we'd have a spoon clothes store right next to Stinky Bottom's Discount Hat Emporium. But it ain't up to me, so the answer is no.
  • Applejack
Personally, I think spoon clothes ain't such a bad idea. Useful, too. Eatin' soup, stirrin' gumbo, diggin' little holes.
  • Twilight Sparkle
There. Perfect. Although, what would Rarity want? Maybe she wouldn't like it done by color. Guess I have to start over!
  • Fluttershy
Hello, Smoky, Softpad, Smoky Jr.? I have some... interesting news. I, oh... I'd like you all to stay here forever, but... What would Rarity want? You have to move out!
  • Rarity
A window display is the first thing customers see, and if they like it, they'll walk inside and experience the glory that is my boutique.
  • Rainbow Dash
I don't know which one of you to hire! Just... keep guessing fabrics!
  • Plaid Stripes
Daddy, Rarity's friend doesn't like my ideas!
  • Mr. Stripes
Spoon clothes is good idea!
  • Pinkie Pie
Oh, no! Not a shopping music mashup!
  • Fluttershy
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
  • Rarity
How's it—
  • Rarity
Ooh!
  • Fluttershy
When you write the story, could you maybe skip over the part where we locked Rarity in the window display?
  • Rarity
Hello? The door appears to be stuck!
  • Twilight Sparkle
Yep. We're workin' on it!
  • Rarity
Hmm. Well, shouldn't let this time go to waste.
  • Twilight Sparkle
How did this happen?
  • Pinkie Pie
I shut down the party.
  • Applejack
I told Plaid Stripes no.
  • Fluttershy
I asked the raccoons to leave.
  • Rainbow Dash
I asked a lot of fabric questions.
  • Applejack
  • Rainbow Dash
  • Fluttershy
  • Pinkie Pie
Just like I thought Rarity would want!
  • Twilight Sparkle
Rarity asked us to help her with everything because she knows all of us so well. She knows how much you care for animals. She'd trust you to solve the problem your way. Maybe we should all do the same. Doing this our way is what Rarity wants. It's not too late. Let's all dig in and we can fix this.
  • Twilight Sparkle
Before Rarity finds out how bad we messed up.
  • Fluttershy
I'm sorry I asked you to leave. The place is yours if you wanna stay. Though I would like to ask you all just one favor.
  • Pinkie Pie
I'm sorry I made you play that un-fun, super-boring music. But if you're up for it, I have an idea to make the party even better!
  • Rainbow Dash
Okay, I don't get fabric, but I do get speed. And I need somepony fast enough to help all the customers Rarity's gonna have. So... first one to the river and back gets the job! It's a race! Go!
  • Applejack
Mr. Stripes, I owe your daughter an apology. She's got good ideas, and I should give 'em a chance. So here's what I'm thinkin'.
  • Rarity
Perfect!
  • Twilight Sparkle
Wow, looks like we fixed that door just in time!
  • Rarity
Oh! What's all this?
  • Twilight Sparkle
The whole place organized by style, cross-referenced by size, and reverse-indexed by fabric. She'll be able to find anything in three seconds flat! It was some of my best work.
  • Rarity
Oh! I knew I could count on you! All right... I suppose this is the moment of truth...
  • Rarity
Rarity For You is now open!
  • Rarity
Oh, dear. I wasn't quite prepared for such a crowd. How will I handle them all?
  • Blue Bobbin
My name's Blue Bobbin. I'll be your personal shopping assistant this evening.
  • Rainbow Dash
Right this way, everypony, and one of our talented salesponies can help you out!
  • Rainbow Dash
Honestly, they were all pretty slow. But they finished the race. Plus they knew a lot more about fabric than I did. So, I hired them all!
  • Pinkie Pie
The way I see it, Rarity designs fashion, DJ Pon-3 designs beats. What better combination than a boutique/dance club?
  • Fluttershy
After a quick bath, they were more than willing to help!
  • Waxton
Ah, a blue corn reduction with shallot confit! But how can I possibly enjoy it without a—
  • Plaid Stripes
Spoon?
  • Applejack
Heh. Toldja spoon clothes ain't such a bad idea.
  • Waxton
Mmm! Exquisite! This is the most whimsical and wonderfully fashionable boutique I've ever seen!
  • Rarity
"In the end, Rarity's grand opening was a smashing success! True, it got off to a rocky start, but somehow this rag-tag group of ne'er-do-wells..." Oh, heavens, I think he means you. "...came together and created the perfect boutique. A vision of Rarity combined with the expertise of her friends! This reporter, for one, is a believer." Why didn't you tell me there were so many problems?
  • Twilight Sparkle
We all figured you had enough on your mind.
  • Applejack
And we didn't want you to think that the opening wasn't perfect.
  • Rarity
"Ne'er-do-wells" or not, I know I can always count on all of you. And nothing could be more perfect than that.